The Harder You Come At Me, The Harder I Fight!

I want to start off my apologizing for not posting in a while. It has been a roller coaster to say the least. We are still waiting to hear from Ghana on a court date so we can begin the final stages. So basically my days are filled with waiting and trying to act like my mind is anywhere else but with our little girl in Africa. So these days I have a hardcore case of ADD. With all the waiting and uncertainty, the devil has tried to have a field day with us and our emotions. We have experienced anger, sadness, and amazing amounts of joy over the pass few months while we await our beautiful little girl. To be quite honest the amazing amounts of joy have come on quite recently with our decision to throw our hands up and just enjoy this roller coaster of a ride. Since we have made this decision to adopt, our lives have been filled with ups and downs.

I'm not a big fan of change, and I think I'm getting worse as I get older. Ive learned that the Lord laughs when He hears this and just keeps the change coming. Ive shared in past that on top of the adoption we've been doing a little home renovation. Well months into it Ive finally accepted the change in our home so now the Lord has tossed me another curve ball. Almost simultaneously with the adoption decision I began to have conversations with various people about the possibility of being called back into the ministry. For those of you that don't know my background I spent approximately 6 years in youth ministry. I loved my time doing that but ultimately the Lord released me to go work in a support role for our family's business. Ive been doing this for 7 years in various roles and capacities. While Ive loved this as well, I just cant help but to hear the Lord's voice telling me there is more. There have been very few times that I've really felt that I've heard from Him; first to go into ministry in the first place, secondly to be released to the family business, third that it was time to adopt and now that the ministry is waiting on me again. That I'm being called back greatly excites me. The frustrating part is that I don't have a clue what its gonna look like, but I know adoption will be a great part of it. All I know is that he has reignited the fire.

A year ago all of this upheaval and stress would most likely have done me in. I can honestly tell you Ive felt the strength and the comfort of the Lord through all this. I have noticed that with all the blessings that He has poured into us, the enemy is lurking right around the corner at my every move. Lately he has been attacking me with the adoption because it has slowed dramatically. Daily it's the feeling that I've missed something in the process that's caused the delay. We are doing all this independently so there has been a great learning curve. Most all we've learned has been through research online and conversations with people who have blazed this trail before us. The largest weapon that the enemy has used against me has been self doubt. Even to the point of doubting my words as I type this very post. We are so close yet still so far away and this is so being mirrored in my personal life right now. I struggle daily to not become depressed, because I am so close yet so far away as well. I now its a lesson in patience, I just don't like it...lol. I know this is a bit depressing but this is where we are right now. The thing I'm so appreciative of is the fact that the Lord helps me to be aware. So I may be down, but its just for a minute. We are still fighting though! This will be a victory, and oh what a party she will have when she finally gets home...:-)

So I know a lot of you read this for the adoption updates so just a quick run through to bring you up to speed. We have completed our federal background checks, and are awaiting the court date so that we can file for her visa. She now has a passport and a birth certificate....woohoo! We have really accomplished so much in so little time but we just cant get this baby girl in our arms fast enough. The kids are so pumped but getting anxious just like their mommy and daddy. At this point it is looking like we could be going to get her in October as long as we can keep things moving. We have learned so much about ourselves through all of this. We can handle alot as long as we give it to Him.