The Harder You Come At Me, The Harder I Fight!

I want to start off my apologizing for not posting in a while. It has been a roller coaster to say the least. We are still waiting to hear from Ghana on a court date so we can begin the final stages. So basically my days are filled with waiting and trying to act like my mind is anywhere else but with our little girl in Africa. So these days I have a hardcore case of ADD. With all the waiting and uncertainty, the devil has tried to have a field day with us and our emotions. We have experienced anger, sadness, and amazing amounts of joy over the pass few months while we await our beautiful little girl. To be quite honest the amazing amounts of joy have come on quite recently with our decision to throw our hands up and just enjoy this roller coaster of a ride. Since we have made this decision to adopt, our lives have been filled with ups and downs.

I'm not a big fan of change, and I think I'm getting worse as I get older. Ive learned that the Lord laughs when He hears this and just keeps the change coming. Ive shared in past that on top of the adoption we've been doing a little home renovation. Well months into it Ive finally accepted the change in our home so now the Lord has tossed me another curve ball. Almost simultaneously with the adoption decision I began to have conversations with various people about the possibility of being called back into the ministry. For those of you that don't know my background I spent approximately 6 years in youth ministry. I loved my time doing that but ultimately the Lord released me to go work in a support role for our family's business. Ive been doing this for 7 years in various roles and capacities. While Ive loved this as well, I just cant help but to hear the Lord's voice telling me there is more. There have been very few times that I've really felt that I've heard from Him; first to go into ministry in the first place, secondly to be released to the family business, third that it was time to adopt and now that the ministry is waiting on me again. That I'm being called back greatly excites me. The frustrating part is that I don't have a clue what its gonna look like, but I know adoption will be a great part of it. All I know is that he has reignited the fire.

A year ago all of this upheaval and stress would most likely have done me in. I can honestly tell you Ive felt the strength and the comfort of the Lord through all this. I have noticed that with all the blessings that He has poured into us, the enemy is lurking right around the corner at my every move. Lately he has been attacking me with the adoption because it has slowed dramatically. Daily it's the feeling that I've missed something in the process that's caused the delay. We are doing all this independently so there has been a great learning curve. Most all we've learned has been through research online and conversations with people who have blazed this trail before us. The largest weapon that the enemy has used against me has been self doubt. Even to the point of doubting my words as I type this very post. We are so close yet still so far away and this is so being mirrored in my personal life right now. I struggle daily to not become depressed, because I am so close yet so far away as well. I now its a lesson in patience, I just don't like it...lol. I know this is a bit depressing but this is where we are right now. The thing I'm so appreciative of is the fact that the Lord helps me to be aware. So I may be down, but its just for a minute. We are still fighting though! This will be a victory, and oh what a party she will have when she finally gets home...:-)

So I know a lot of you read this for the adoption updates so just a quick run through to bring you up to speed. We have completed our federal background checks, and are awaiting the court date so that we can file for her visa. She now has a passport and a birth certificate....woohoo! We have really accomplished so much in so little time but we just cant get this baby girl in our arms fast enough. The kids are so pumped but getting anxious just like their mommy and daddy. At this point it is looking like we could be going to get her in October as long as we can keep things moving. We have learned so much about ourselves through all of this. We can handle alot as long as we give it to Him.

My life is changed forever!

I write this as I sit on the plane headed home. This 11 hour flight is giving me plenty of time to reflect on what has happened this past week. I’m sorry to wrap the whole week into one blog, but our remote location and the fact that I was dead dog tired every night gave me no time to write. After my face decided to get back to normal we were off on a wonderful adventure, which I never imagined I’d be blessed to be a part of.

The welcome that we got at the orphanage was amazing. We arrived at recess and were immediately swarmed by the kiddos, all wearing the most amazing smiles you have ever seen. The moment I stepped outta the van I had a 3 year old boy in one arm and a 3 year old girl in the other. I also had a 5 year old boy on one leg and a 7 year old girl on the other and approximately three 6 year olds on each shoulder with a 12 year old hanging from my neck and a 10 year old hugging my waste. I wore this glamorous coat of human beings throughout the whole week even though it was in the mid to upper 90’s. We began this journey with great hope that we would have the opportunity to meet our new daughter.

We went, knowing that either our daughter was the girl with the burn from the abuse or her story would bring us to our daughter. When we got there we found the girl with the burn to be thriving and doing so well. My wife and I felt that she was exactly where she needed to be. That made my heart so happy. I have dreamed about her, and worried about her for weeks now, so to finally see her in person and loving life was amazing. So knowing that she was doing well let us know that our daughter was yet to be met.

Mostly our time was spent during the day at the orphanage playing with the kids and helping the teachers during class time if needed. I was amazed at how advanced these children were. I haven’t been to many orphanages, but I can tell you from what I’ve seen, this one is at the top. The children were so proud to show us their work. I even had them bringing me their academic achievement certificates during recess. It was so easy to fall in love with each child there. They have seen so much adversity in their lives already, yet they are thriving and succeeding in life to the fullest.

Our down times in the evenings were typically spent having dinner and maybe exploring the town. We both fell in love with the town of Hohoe and the culture of Ghana as well. The people were so nice and accommodating. The food was pretty much amazing and we often found ourselves just walking around and taking in all that surrounded us. The lifestyle here was really laid back and simple here, very similar to island life. Hohoe is located in the Lake Volta Region close to the Togo border.

I met my daughter the very first day, and I knew it immediately, the Lord just had to work on momma a bit. Her smile was amazing, and that was only topped by her eyes. She wanted me to carry her around continuously, but I felt that it was important to spend time with all the kids, so I put her down and awwwww it broke her heart. Seeing this melted my heart and let me know that she knew I was her daddy as well. That night as my wife and I talked about our day I brought up the little girl and my wife said she wasn’t really sure. It was a hard time for my wife because the fear of the unknown was trying to creep in. I didn’t want to push anything so I just decided to wait it out.

The next day brought the beginning of my wife seeing the inevitable. This little girl had me in her sights and I had her in mine. More importantly, this is what the Lord had chosen for all of us. We were sitting in the younger children’s class watching them sing when Adrian pointed her out as if she was seeing her for the first time. My heart just raced and I reminded her that she was the fit thrower from yesterday. That afternoon we had an appointment with the director of the orphanage and we were asking about her. He told us that she was a complete orphan, meaning that she had lost both parents. He went on to tell us that when he first learned that we were coming, he immediately thought of her. He said that had we not been able to make this trip she would have been his referral. I left feeling like the Lord had confirmed my feelings that she was my daughter. He went on to tell us that her grandmother lived in the next village over and he thought that it would be good to meet with her, because she was hoping that her grand-daughter would be adopted before she passed, and she hadn’t been in good health. My wife was still not sure, and this was a role reversal for us because coming in to this she was the one who was so sure about everything. As we went to bed that night she said that she prayed that if this was our daughter she would have a sign tomorrow. Well guess what…..that next morning as we got to the orphanage she ran right to my wife and jumped into her arms. This was abnormal, because normally it was my arms. Through the rest of the day she was attached to my wife, taking her in to show my wife her clothes, and her bunk and wanting to have her picture taken with all her stuff. That afternoon my wife said she was sure. Once that decision was made, everything seemed to change. We asked that she not know yet because we thought it would be hard to leave, but it was if she knew. There was really no fussing as if she was content knowing the Lord had put us together, and we would soon be family. She would have a daddy, mommy, big brother, and big sister.

One of the most amazing things in my life happened on our last day in Hohoe. The director had told us of family in the area. We got to meet her grandmother our last day and learn some family history. She told us how happy she was that her grand-daughter was being adopted. I got to tell her how her grand-daughter jumped right into my arms as if she knew just like I. Then I asked what her name meant and she said, “God has heard you”. She then went on to tell us her Christian name is Gifty. She then told us that God had heard our prayers and here is the gift of your daughter. Getting the blessing of her grandmother was one of the most emotional situations of my life. How’s that for confirmation…..God is so good!

Leaving was hard, but her not knowing made it easier. As I sit on a plane getting farther away by the minute, the aching in my heart grows more. I will continue to hold on to his confirmation. I also pray that he fills her heart daily with the joy of knowing that mommy and daddy will be back soon, and then she can be with her brother and sister. Please pray for a speedy process, so we can all be together. Oh and by the way, she was the very first child in my arms when we got to Hohoe…:-)

Praise the Lord and pass the Benadryl

Well often when we pray we tell the Lord we are putting ourselves in his hands and we are gonna trust him. We pray that he will protect us and we tell him we want it to be his timing not ours. We do this but then when we have the slightest bit of adversity we are prone to belly aching. I caught myself doing this yesterday as we sat in the airport delayed due to weather and eventually having our flight to Ghana cancelled. This left us with no luggage, no flight, no car, no place to spend the night. Needless to say it was a bit irritating. I stopped myself from belly aching when I remembered that I had put this in His hands, and promised to trust Him. So as the evening drug on I began to realize that while these delays were irritating, they were also for the best. As we sat in the airport waiting for a ride we were able to spend several hours with a lady we are traveling with that helps the orphanage we are traveling to. We were able to see new pics of the kids, and they all look to be doing so well. It made me want to be there that much more. We were able to hear her experience of adopting from Ghana. It was a very valuable conversation for us. There were other reasons that it wasn't time for us to go as well. As I sat through the day I noticed that it felt like I had a fat lip, next the bridge of my nose began to swell and feel as if id been punched. I wasn't sure what was going on but took some Benadryl and pushed on. We got a ride and was able to get a room to stay in for the night. The bed felt amazing after laying around in the floor at JFK all day. I was in good spirits going to sleep and ready to face the next day and what it brought. I woke up the next morning immediately knowing something was wrong. I set up and looked at my wife asking if I looked any better, knowing full well I looked alot worse. She shot me a look of horror, and I could tell by her face that it was bad. Over night I had gotten about 3 times worse and developed blisters along the inside of my mouth, no it wasn't from laying in the floor at JFK. I got on the Internet and looked up the side effects of the preventative malaria medicine I was taking. It said to seek immediate medical attention if you have swelling of the lips and face. I also said that there is a risk of the throat swelling shut. So we called a taxi and off to the ER. As I walked in the nurse asked me with a look of horror, "what seems to be the problem?" I calmly told her I didn't use to look like this. I'm not sure she could appreciate Southwest Missouri humor. They got me in a room and put an IV in gave me some meds and sent me on my way. As I left and went back to the room, I began to think about how His hand was on me the whole way. First off had we took off last night, I woulda rolled into the orphanage looking like a Klingon and the freaking all the kids out. Secondly had I looked up the side effects last night I most likely woulda spent the night in the ER. This woulda left us even more tired than we've been. Lastly, I very well could have had my throat swell shut while I slept, but He was watching over me. Everything worked out to his perfect timing, and tomorrow we head to Ghana rested, correctly medicated, and more excited that ever to meet our child for the very first time. God is definitely good all the time, even when our attitudes aren't.

As the smoke clears, this is really happening!

Whew....Man has it been rough these past few weeks. We have been working on the house working to get our home study completed, and to top it all off my wife went blind. I know some of you are thinking what??? Well she had a bad reaction to some medication she was taking for migraines and it literally cause her to lose her sight. This all happened a week and a half before we were due to leave for Ghana. I'm not gonna lie, this really shook me. Obviously I was worried for my wife's well being, but It really shook my faith. She has been so good in leading the way through this adoption process and now what do I do? The one that I was trusting to really hear and see God through this process cant see! I immediately began to play the what if game. How can we continue through this with one of us blind. I struggled to imagine how I would take care of three kids and her. What will we do financially if she cant go back to work? What if, what if, what if? Well what if Id just quit being a bone head and trust in the Lord. Not my wife, not my self, but whole heartily in Him! Well I got to see just how deeply my wife had buried herself in His arms through yet another trial. She is almost completely blind telling me, we are going. He will take care of this yet again. I'm just amazed at her faith. I really am praying that I could rise to her level. The Lord taught me another lesson through watching my wife as well. I got to see perseverance right up close. When at times I'm playing the what if game, she is not allowing anything to come between us and our baby! I'm so proud to be married to such a strong woman! I can be real stubborn sometimes, I know surprise surprise. As I write this I am sitting in an airport in New York waiting on a plane to take me to Ghana for the very first time. I would not be here if it weren't for the wonderful example that my wife has set for me. Through the good and the bad she has stayed steady pushing forward to the blessing that the Lord has waiting for our family.

They Say It Takes A Village.....

An African proverb states that it takes an entire village to raise a child. Everyday that hits home to me more and more. One of my greatest fears going into our adoption was that I wouldn't be able to give this child all that they need. I feared that I wouldn't be enough. Its been awesome to see everyone's reactions when they found out we are adopting. The Lord has used this as a teaching moment for me. I have realized that for this child, they are not just getting a new mommy, daddy, brother and sister. This child is getting such a strong support web of people to grow up around. The moment that this first started to be shown to me was when my mom was telling me about my 6 year old nephew's response to the news that he was gonna get a new cousin. He immediately realized that this child would be an orphan with no family and very little possessions. He began to talk of how he'd be her big cousin and he'd protect her. He began to talk of how she needed her own baby dolls and blankies. He feel asleep that night talking of teaching her how to play sports and how to just plain have fun at MeMe and PaPa's. His sensitivity to all this just blew me away. From here it just keeps growing daily. Everyday there are more people sowing into the life of this child that they have yet to meet. By adding another family member, this meant doing a bit of remodel to help accommodate. Well our family and church family has been amazing at responding to this call. Not only are they helping with the necessary remodels, they have also gone above and beyond by just making a few little upgrades through the house while they are at it. The conversations that Ive been able to have through the process have been amazing. They've shared with me that they feel that they are blessing her by working in her home to prepare for her arrival. I have tears in my eyes as I type this just thinking about the people that the Lord is already positioning in her life. What a blessed little girl. I sure hope this little girl is a hugger cause boy oh boy she has a line forming already. So needless to say this little girl is not only getting a new mommy, daddy, brother, and sister......but she is getting a whole life packed full of characters ready to love and nurture her.

We Gotta Dream....But What About A Direction?

Man I have such a hard time when there is no plan, and let me tell you this journey comes with absolutely no directions. From the moment my wife and I were in sync on the adoption its been a mad dash to meet all the requirements for adoption at an accelerated pace. We are going this without an agency so its been at a different pace than most. It was recommended to us that we go volunteer at the orphanage as soon as possible to get to know the director as well as the kids. We found out that there was a trip happening mid march, so away we go. It was also recommended that it would be great if we could hand our home study to the orphanage director when we visit just to show him that we are serious about this. We started putting the word out that we needed a social worker for a home study asap, and it wasn't long til we had a name and it was pretty neat cause we got the same lady's name from several people and it was amazing how many common friends we had. She agreed to get right on it with us and literally two days later we were sitting in our living room with her going over our family history and boy did I feel that we were under a microscope. Not because of the questions she was asking but because of the pressure we put on ourselves. Man we were like cats on a hot tin roof. We were psyching ourselves out! We thought we had to portray ourselves as some perfect family.....so my wife put on her finest apron and I wore my velvet smoking jacket and the kids were in their Sunday best. I think I even licked my hand to slick down my sons cow lick........then we all sat down to a roast with all the fixings. I began to tell her of how to punish our children we took away their reading privileges and that just broke their little hearts....so they hardly ever got in trouble because darn it those little boogers just love a good book. No......of course it didn't go that way but boy we sure had ourselves thinking it was supposed to be that way. Actually we spent 4 hours going over our up bringing and also how we raise our kids...I was honest and told her how occasionally I have to raise my voice to them but that's real life for the Petticrews. We didn't even cook for her we ordered in Olive Garden....she loved it. The Lord was showing us that he created us exactly the way we are craziness and all. We are a hectic, busy, and warm family full of love for each other. I really learned a lot about our family that day. The funniest part of that day was watching my wife squirm when the kids would talk. The home study was harmless, yet still a blessing to be done with. Item by item we've gone down the list checking things off on our road to Ghana. Not really having a clue where to go next but the Lord just sets the next task in front of us. We have visas applied for and plane tickets bought. We have taken physicals and immunizations. We are headed to Ghana. This is our next step in the process. After our week in Ghana we will know our child and know the rest of the path that the Lord has laid out for us. I'm very excited about the possibility of being able to help other couples out after we have gone through this journey. I really feel like His plan is for us to be able to help others with their direction after He gives them their dream. That's why He keeps laying things out just so for us.

It's Been One Of Those Days

Ok I'm putting myself out there because I'm the only one who has these. Today was a pity party day. Oh yes and it was a party of ONE......lol. Since we have decide to volunteer in Ghana for a week in March, I've been a bit stretched. I'm one of those people who don't fly by the seat of their pants very well. I like to have a plan and plenty of notice. Well God knows this, and well he is pulling me out of myself. Well we found out we were adopting 2 weeks ago and since then it's been chaos......awesome chaos. We have been busy with paper work, immunizations, physicals, a home study and oh yeah we didn't feel like that was enough so we've decided to throw in a little home remodeling to get things ready for 1 more! Oh yeah throw in a little work place excitement and we are really cooking now. I was just begging someone just to punch me in the gut....to top it off. That was my attitude earlier today. I was feeling overwhelmed and stressed, even to the point of questioning if we were even ready to add to all this chaos. It was in the middle of this tantrum that I feel that the Lord spoke very clearly to me. I felt him telling me that, it is if my wife and I are expecting. This is no different than if my wife was carrying my child. If that was the case we would push on through all the craziness to welcome that joy in my family. Well that's exactly what Im choosing to do now. It made it all better when I got to see my wife this afternoon. I'm typically the one saying that it's all gonna work out and be ok. Well today roles flipped and she was such a breath of fresh air for me. She has such a peace even among the chaos, that it really eased my concerns. That's the thing I love about our marriage, we are a team. This child is gonna have the most amazing momma ever, and Im so blessed to call her my wife.