They Say It Takes A Village.....

An African proverb states that it takes an entire village to raise a child. Everyday that hits home to me more and more. One of my greatest fears going into our adoption was that I wouldn't be able to give this child all that they need. I feared that I wouldn't be enough. Its been awesome to see everyone's reactions when they found out we are adopting. The Lord has used this as a teaching moment for me. I have realized that for this child, they are not just getting a new mommy, daddy, brother and sister. This child is getting such a strong support web of people to grow up around. The moment that this first started to be shown to me was when my mom was telling me about my 6 year old nephew's response to the news that he was gonna get a new cousin. He immediately realized that this child would be an orphan with no family and very little possessions. He began to talk of how he'd be her big cousin and he'd protect her. He began to talk of how she needed her own baby dolls and blankies. He feel asleep that night talking of teaching her how to play sports and how to just plain have fun at MeMe and PaPa's. His sensitivity to all this just blew me away. From here it just keeps growing daily. Everyday there are more people sowing into the life of this child that they have yet to meet. By adding another family member, this meant doing a bit of remodel to help accommodate. Well our family and church family has been amazing at responding to this call. Not only are they helping with the necessary remodels, they have also gone above and beyond by just making a few little upgrades through the house while they are at it. The conversations that Ive been able to have through the process have been amazing. They've shared with me that they feel that they are blessing her by working in her home to prepare for her arrival. I have tears in my eyes as I type this just thinking about the people that the Lord is already positioning in her life. What a blessed little girl. I sure hope this little girl is a hugger cause boy oh boy she has a line forming already. So needless to say this little girl is not only getting a new mommy, daddy, brother, and sister......but she is getting a whole life packed full of characters ready to love and nurture her.

We Gotta Dream....But What About A Direction?

Man I have such a hard time when there is no plan, and let me tell you this journey comes with absolutely no directions. From the moment my wife and I were in sync on the adoption its been a mad dash to meet all the requirements for adoption at an accelerated pace. We are going this without an agency so its been at a different pace than most. It was recommended to us that we go volunteer at the orphanage as soon as possible to get to know the director as well as the kids. We found out that there was a trip happening mid march, so away we go. It was also recommended that it would be great if we could hand our home study to the orphanage director when we visit just to show him that we are serious about this. We started putting the word out that we needed a social worker for a home study asap, and it wasn't long til we had a name and it was pretty neat cause we got the same lady's name from several people and it was amazing how many common friends we had. She agreed to get right on it with us and literally two days later we were sitting in our living room with her going over our family history and boy did I feel that we were under a microscope. Not because of the questions she was asking but because of the pressure we put on ourselves. Man we were like cats on a hot tin roof. We were psyching ourselves out! We thought we had to portray ourselves as some perfect family.....so my wife put on her finest apron and I wore my velvet smoking jacket and the kids were in their Sunday best. I think I even licked my hand to slick down my sons cow lick........then we all sat down to a roast with all the fixings. I began to tell her of how to punish our children we took away their reading privileges and that just broke their little hearts....so they hardly ever got in trouble because darn it those little boogers just love a good book. No......of course it didn't go that way but boy we sure had ourselves thinking it was supposed to be that way. Actually we spent 4 hours going over our up bringing and also how we raise our kids...I was honest and told her how occasionally I have to raise my voice to them but that's real life for the Petticrews. We didn't even cook for her we ordered in Olive Garden....she loved it. The Lord was showing us that he created us exactly the way we are craziness and all. We are a hectic, busy, and warm family full of love for each other. I really learned a lot about our family that day. The funniest part of that day was watching my wife squirm when the kids would talk. The home study was harmless, yet still a blessing to be done with. Item by item we've gone down the list checking things off on our road to Ghana. Not really having a clue where to go next but the Lord just sets the next task in front of us. We have visas applied for and plane tickets bought. We have taken physicals and immunizations. We are headed to Ghana. This is our next step in the process. After our week in Ghana we will know our child and know the rest of the path that the Lord has laid out for us. I'm very excited about the possibility of being able to help other couples out after we have gone through this journey. I really feel like His plan is for us to be able to help others with their direction after He gives them their dream. That's why He keeps laying things out just so for us.

It's Been One Of Those Days

Ok I'm putting myself out there because I'm the only one who has these. Today was a pity party day. Oh yes and it was a party of ONE......lol. Since we have decide to volunteer in Ghana for a week in March, I've been a bit stretched. I'm one of those people who don't fly by the seat of their pants very well. I like to have a plan and plenty of notice. Well God knows this, and well he is pulling me out of myself. Well we found out we were adopting 2 weeks ago and since then it's been chaos......awesome chaos. We have been busy with paper work, immunizations, physicals, a home study and oh yeah we didn't feel like that was enough so we've decided to throw in a little home remodeling to get things ready for 1 more! Oh yeah throw in a little work place excitement and we are really cooking now. I was just begging someone just to punch me in the gut....to top it off. That was my attitude earlier today. I was feeling overwhelmed and stressed, even to the point of questioning if we were even ready to add to all this chaos. It was in the middle of this tantrum that I feel that the Lord spoke very clearly to me. I felt him telling me that, it is if my wife and I are expecting. This is no different than if my wife was carrying my child. If that was the case we would push on through all the craziness to welcome that joy in my family. Well that's exactly what Im choosing to do now. It made it all better when I got to see my wife this afternoon. I'm typically the one saying that it's all gonna work out and be ok. Well today roles flipped and she was such a breath of fresh air for me. She has such a peace even among the chaos, that it really eased my concerns. That's the thing I love about our marriage, we are a team. This child is gonna have the most amazing momma ever, and Im so blessed to call her my wife.

I can see the smile in her eyes!

Ive told some that this experience is like having God pick me up and tuck me under his arm and he is taking off in a dead sprint towards our child. A month ago we were visiting friends of ours that have adopted a little girl from Ethiopia. I had the most incredible weekend with my wife watching their family interact. It helped to soothe some of my fears of not having enough love or attention to give an adopted child. That weekend the Lord really spoke to me about this not being my job alone. He brought it to my attention that there will be people all around ready to accept this child into the fold. (My wife and I feel that its a little girl so I will refer to our child as her from here on out or until I realize otherwise. I'm really open either way. Shoot I'm even open to siblings if that's what is in store for us, but for now Ill stick with her). So He was showing me that she will not only get a new dad but a mom and sister and brother as well. Oh and it doesn't stop there. There will be cousins, aunts, uncles, MePes, Papas, GGs, and Poppy Ds. There is really no end to it because there will be friends, and church family as well. As we sat and watched our friends family all interact together is was quite special. I think the most special of all was watching the love between the little girl and her new sister. This really helped to chill me out and comfort me. So after that weekend I was feeling quite content and ready to begin the process.......Oh yeah we have no clue where to start! How do you choose a child? I begin to pray that the Lord would show us where to start. Little did I know that He was already on it! When we got back from our trip my wife was so excited she began telling everyone that we were planning on the adoption. I was a little more reserved really for no reason other than I was still soaking it all in. My wife had shared with her aunt that we were ready to adopt, and so it all began. A week and a half after being home from our trip I received a text from my wife simply asking, "How soon are you wanting to get this adoption thing started?" Well being the sarcastic fellow that I can be, I began joking that she must have found a child. Well hmmmmm, a child found us! Word had got out and my wife received a call about a little girl in Ghana who was 3 or 4 years old. After getting the text (and joking a bit) I immediately called my wife. She began to tell me about a little girl who had lost both of her parents due to them both suddenly passing not too far apart. She was in an orphanage in Hohoe, Ghana. I was taking it all in as she began to tell me that she was kind of a special needs child. She went on to tell me that after her parents passed, her grandparents basically blamed the child and accused her of being a witch. This baby was accused of witchcraft and burned with a hot iron on the side of her head. When a lady from the Peace Corps found her she was in a cave like room starving to death. Needless to say we were heart broken for what this baby endured. That my friends was the extent of the information. So now we are challenged with making the decision of going forward or not. I wanted more information. How could this be enough to make a life changing decision? We began to pray for direction and take to the internet to see what we could dig up. My wife kept saying that if I could only see a picture I think I would know. She could look at a picture of any child and say that we should adopt them. That is just a testament to her huge heart. I was praying that wouldn't be the case. As bad as that sounds, I didn't want it to be based off emotion. I wanted it to be a realistic logical decision...that's kinda the way I roll...lol. Instead I prayed that the Lord would let me know if we should keep moving in that direction. Three days later I was in the kitchen and my wife calls out, "Baby I found her!". Well I kinda laugh thinking he was joking but she says it again and this time I can hear her voice crack. She totally just found a needle in a haystack. She has found what is probably the only picture of this little girl on the internet. It gives her name and her story, so we confirm that it is indeed her!! We begin calling everyone we can think of. We begin emailing the picture out asking everyone to please pray for this little girl. She looked so sad yet you could see a smile in her eyes. The next morning my wife was a little outta sorts and I could sense that something was up with her. I asked her to talk to me about it, and she explained that when she saw the picture nothing really clicked, it was then that I told her that I was praying against that. I explained that I prayed that it wouldn't be based off emotion and that I prayed instead that I would know if we were to continue to pursue her. It was then that I told her that I felt He had answered me and the answer is yes. We began to contact people in connection with the orphanage to see if it would be possible for us to adopt her. While the answer we go back wasn't exactly what we wanted to hear, it wasn't a done deal. The social welfare department felt that due to the trauma that she had already endured they were not sure if an international adoption was the best option for her since it would be plucking her from her culture and entering her into one that would be totally different. They said that she is now able to bond with the other children in the orphanage and her care takers as well. I didn't see this as a deterrent. I was rather happy that they were putting her well being first. If she was my daughter then that is exactly what Id want done. We feel strongly that if she is not our daughter, her story is leading us to this orphanage where our child is. So I will one day hug her to tell her that she is my daughter and I love her very much or I will hug her and thank her for her courage and let her know her story has lead me this orphanage of which will be a part of my life forever.

The Moment I knew

So as I stated in my earlier post Ive been dragging my feet on this opportunity for a while now. I have looked for every reason for us not to adopt. Not that I didn't want to but because I was scared. My wife and I first talked about adoption after we lost our first son. We lost him 27 weeks into the pregnancy. My wife delivered him Sept 5, 1999. As I held him in my arms I new that we had to have kids but, was scared that we would come down this road with future pregnancies. So not knowing what the future would hold for us, the topic of adoption first came up. We eventually found out what the complications were and we are blessed to have a beautiful girl and boy biologically. We felt blessed to have one of each, yet we felt that our family still wasn't complete. Again the topic of adoption came up. As the years went on I believe my wife fell more in love with the idea while I was running away looking for reasons not to. I thought that maybe we didn't have enough money or enough room. I even questioned if I had enough love to go around. This was the match that I was wrestling over and over in my head. Then January 12, 2010 I sat and watched footage of the earthquake in Haiti. This was the moment that the Lord began opening doors. I sat and watched as children lost their parents, and I had an awakening. All of the reasons I could possibly come up with didn't mean jack. As I watched children walk the streets alone with no one to care for them, I played over and over in my head what their reaction would be if they were placed in my family. They would go from being alone and scared to having a mom and a dad and a brother and a sister. They would have a home, clothing, and anything else that they needed. Who am I to make lame excuses that would deny a child of all these things. January 15, 2010 as our family was on the way to meet friends for dinner I began to share with my wife that I felt we were ready to adopt. As I began sharing my thoughts and how the Lord had been working in my heart, I could hear faint sniffles coming from the other side of the car. I was thinking that they were probably sniffles of joy that I had finally got on board. They were actually sniffles of relief. She had felt that day in her heart that it was time herself and she was struggling with how to bring it up to me, knowing that I was stand offish in the past. This was the first time that we were in agreement that it was time to begin seriously looking into adoption for our family. Little did we know that at that moment our lives would begin to change, and change at a VERY fast pace.

And Away We Go!

We have been told many times that we should be writing down our experience so this will be our attempt at sharing our story with our family, friends, and new friends that we will make through our journey. It's been amazing how the Lord has moved since my wife and I have come into agreement. She has been ready to adopt for a while now but, not me, I can really overthink things sometimes. Another way of putting it is I can be quite stubborn. I keep comparing it to being in a swift moving creek where in the past I was walking with the current but still had my feet under me and resisting just enough to keep it at my pace. I have been resistant for many reasons, mostly selfish if I can be completely honest with you. Do we have room? Do we have enough money? Will it steal from my kids? Then the Lord began to show me that anything we can give these children will be much appreciated. He began to tell me to lift my feet and just allow His current to take me in the direction of His choosing. So here I go raising my feet to flow in his current, allowing him to direct my path! We will be updating as we go, so hopefully when this is all done we will have a written record of yet another blessing that the Lord has ushered into our lives. In upcoming posts I intend to bring you all up to speed with a day by day, blow by blow account. I'm so excited to share the amazing doors that have been opened as well as those that have yet to be seen. God is good.....all the time!