I can see the smile in her eyes!

Ive told some that this experience is like having God pick me up and tuck me under his arm and he is taking off in a dead sprint towards our child. A month ago we were visiting friends of ours that have adopted a little girl from Ethiopia. I had the most incredible weekend with my wife watching their family interact. It helped to soothe some of my fears of not having enough love or attention to give an adopted child. That weekend the Lord really spoke to me about this not being my job alone. He brought it to my attention that there will be people all around ready to accept this child into the fold. (My wife and I feel that its a little girl so I will refer to our child as her from here on out or until I realize otherwise. I'm really open either way. Shoot I'm even open to siblings if that's what is in store for us, but for now Ill stick with her). So He was showing me that she will not only get a new dad but a mom and sister and brother as well. Oh and it doesn't stop there. There will be cousins, aunts, uncles, MePes, Papas, GGs, and Poppy Ds. There is really no end to it because there will be friends, and church family as well. As we sat and watched our friends family all interact together is was quite special. I think the most special of all was watching the love between the little girl and her new sister. This really helped to chill me out and comfort me. So after that weekend I was feeling quite content and ready to begin the process.......Oh yeah we have no clue where to start! How do you choose a child? I begin to pray that the Lord would show us where to start. Little did I know that He was already on it! When we got back from our trip my wife was so excited she began telling everyone that we were planning on the adoption. I was a little more reserved really for no reason other than I was still soaking it all in. My wife had shared with her aunt that we were ready to adopt, and so it all began. A week and a half after being home from our trip I received a text from my wife simply asking, "How soon are you wanting to get this adoption thing started?" Well being the sarcastic fellow that I can be, I began joking that she must have found a child. Well hmmmmm, a child found us! Word had got out and my wife received a call about a little girl in Ghana who was 3 or 4 years old. After getting the text (and joking a bit) I immediately called my wife. She began to tell me about a little girl who had lost both of her parents due to them both suddenly passing not too far apart. She was in an orphanage in Hohoe, Ghana. I was taking it all in as she began to tell me that she was kind of a special needs child. She went on to tell me that after her parents passed, her grandparents basically blamed the child and accused her of being a witch. This baby was accused of witchcraft and burned with a hot iron on the side of her head. When a lady from the Peace Corps found her she was in a cave like room starving to death. Needless to say we were heart broken for what this baby endured. That my friends was the extent of the information. So now we are challenged with making the decision of going forward or not. I wanted more information. How could this be enough to make a life changing decision? We began to pray for direction and take to the internet to see what we could dig up. My wife kept saying that if I could only see a picture I think I would know. She could look at a picture of any child and say that we should adopt them. That is just a testament to her huge heart. I was praying that wouldn't be the case. As bad as that sounds, I didn't want it to be based off emotion. I wanted it to be a realistic logical decision...that's kinda the way I roll...lol. Instead I prayed that the Lord would let me know if we should keep moving in that direction. Three days later I was in the kitchen and my wife calls out, "Baby I found her!". Well I kinda laugh thinking he was joking but she says it again and this time I can hear her voice crack. She totally just found a needle in a haystack. She has found what is probably the only picture of this little girl on the internet. It gives her name and her story, so we confirm that it is indeed her!! We begin calling everyone we can think of. We begin emailing the picture out asking everyone to please pray for this little girl. She looked so sad yet you could see a smile in her eyes. The next morning my wife was a little outta sorts and I could sense that something was up with her. I asked her to talk to me about it, and she explained that when she saw the picture nothing really clicked, it was then that I told her that I was praying against that. I explained that I prayed that it wouldn't be based off emotion and that I prayed instead that I would know if we were to continue to pursue her. It was then that I told her that I felt He had answered me and the answer is yes. We began to contact people in connection with the orphanage to see if it would be possible for us to adopt her. While the answer we go back wasn't exactly what we wanted to hear, it wasn't a done deal. The social welfare department felt that due to the trauma that she had already endured they were not sure if an international adoption was the best option for her since it would be plucking her from her culture and entering her into one that would be totally different. They said that she is now able to bond with the other children in the orphanage and her care takers as well. I didn't see this as a deterrent. I was rather happy that they were putting her well being first. If she was my daughter then that is exactly what Id want done. We feel strongly that if she is not our daughter, her story is leading us to this orphanage where our child is. So I will one day hug her to tell her that she is my daughter and I love her very much or I will hug her and thank her for her courage and let her know her story has lead me this orphanage of which will be a part of my life forever.