The Moment I knew

So as I stated in my earlier post Ive been dragging my feet on this opportunity for a while now. I have looked for every reason for us not to adopt. Not that I didn't want to but because I was scared. My wife and I first talked about adoption after we lost our first son. We lost him 27 weeks into the pregnancy. My wife delivered him Sept 5, 1999. As I held him in my arms I new that we had to have kids but, was scared that we would come down this road with future pregnancies. So not knowing what the future would hold for us, the topic of adoption first came up. We eventually found out what the complications were and we are blessed to have a beautiful girl and boy biologically. We felt blessed to have one of each, yet we felt that our family still wasn't complete. Again the topic of adoption came up. As the years went on I believe my wife fell more in love with the idea while I was running away looking for reasons not to. I thought that maybe we didn't have enough money or enough room. I even questioned if I had enough love to go around. This was the match that I was wrestling over and over in my head. Then January 12, 2010 I sat and watched footage of the earthquake in Haiti. This was the moment that the Lord began opening doors. I sat and watched as children lost their parents, and I had an awakening. All of the reasons I could possibly come up with didn't mean jack. As I watched children walk the streets alone with no one to care for them, I played over and over in my head what their reaction would be if they were placed in my family. They would go from being alone and scared to having a mom and a dad and a brother and a sister. They would have a home, clothing, and anything else that they needed. Who am I to make lame excuses that would deny a child of all these things. January 15, 2010 as our family was on the way to meet friends for dinner I began to share with my wife that I felt we were ready to adopt. As I began sharing my thoughts and how the Lord had been working in my heart, I could hear faint sniffles coming from the other side of the car. I was thinking that they were probably sniffles of joy that I had finally got on board. They were actually sniffles of relief. She had felt that day in her heart that it was time herself and she was struggling with how to bring it up to me, knowing that I was stand offish in the past. This was the first time that we were in agreement that it was time to begin seriously looking into adoption for our family. Little did we know that at that moment our lives would begin to change, and change at a VERY fast pace.